Out of the mouths of snot-nosed babes

My children don't believe in privacy, especially mine. The other day I was going to the loo and my oldest opened the door so I wouldn't feel so lonely all by myself in there, I assume.

He perches on the edge of the tub. "Wow Mom, your butt covers the whole toilet!" I suppose this would be sight for someone who has to prop himself up so he doesn't fall in, but I didn't think it a very nice comment.

"Out." I simply say, pointing to the door. "Mommy needs privacy."

My middle child has a strange fascination with my upper body. "Look Mommy!" He'll say, poking at my stomach and watch it jiggle, all the while giggling furiously. Hey, at least I can entertain him easily.

My youngest thinks blowing raspberries on my enormous stomach is the most fun ever. I, mean while, have a saliva-covered belly button. This goes on a lot longer than one would think would be fun, until I have to cut the spit-session short, tugging my shirt down and announcing it's snack time.

Big Girl