Chinese food and the devil from the DMV

It's Friday and I don't feel like cooking and my oldest is sick and wants his favorite food, Chinese take out. And since everyone knows there are zero calories on Fridays, of course I oblige.

I called our order in ahead of time and it seems like no matter what I order the lady always says "ok, ten minute" so I always give it 20 "minute" instead.

I arrive just in time. The Chinese lady is gathering my order on the counter just as I walk in. To my left is a lady waiting for her order. She obviously either did not call ahead or believed the Chinese lady with her erroneous "ok, 10 minute" promise. I realize that I know her from somewhere, but where? Ours is a small town and I know she has been on the other side of the counter from me somewhere... let me think, she is always a little bit too pompass and acts like my time is of no consequence... oh of course! She works at the DMV! (Dept of Motor Vehicles)  How can I describe the general attitude of the average DMV employee? I guess they act like any other government worker; bored, irritated with others' ignorance of government procedures, slow to act, they answer "No" with no further explanation... the list goes on.  For instance there is a disfigured gentleman who also works there who always acts like all of his customers are total morons. I can't help but think that people work there so that they can make others feel as bad as they have always felt about themselves. If you've ever been there you know there is an indescribable quality in these people that just says "you're an idiot and I am miserable because of it".

Last year I had a Nanny who was off from her university. She needed to get a license in our state if she was to be of any use to me so we spent many hours at the DMV. Applying for a license, filling out endless paper work, practicing for the driving portion of the test. This lady standing next to me was always there to make us feel completely unimportant and ignored.

Is it wrong that I am getting a secret thrill from watching HER stand in line for once?! I ask the chinese lady "is this my order?" The DMV lady cuts me off, "no, I've been waiting for 15 minutes so I'm sure it's mine" The chinese lady asks me "what your phone number?" I tell her and she says "Oh this your order, I get one more thing for you" and she disappears into the back. I smile smugly at the DMV lady and say, "It's quicker if you call ahead". I am secretly gleeful.

I am momentarily distracted by my son and the fish tank. When I look back there is a small brown bag on the counter next to my order. "is this mine? I ask. The DMV lady says, "no" and after a moment meekly says, "I think it's mine..." That's right I said "meekly". I am enjoying this ever so much!

The bag is hers. I pay for mine and as I am heading out the door, I say, "I know where I recognize you from... the BP gas station on the corner, right?" She stares at me incredulously, "Uh, no," she quickly corrects me, "I work at the DMV".

Yeah, I knew that.

I am here!

Whew, that "blog break" was exhausting. OK I'm just going to be honest here, I forgot my email address for my blog and couldn't figure it out for the longest time. But fear not, 4 followers, I HAVE returned. AND I am ten pounds lighter. This may or may not be due to the fact that in the past month I have had; pnuemonia, strep throat and my tonsils removed. This has been a very special dieting moment brought to you by: starvation or "I dislike pain more than I love food".

At any rate, my mother has been very encouraging and my father is complimentary abou the shrinking size of my ass. "If someone told you to "haul ass" you'd have to make two trips!" He used to say. Now, apparently, I am down to one and a half trips. I'm going to be brutally honest here and tell you that 10 pounds on a larger woman is not that much of a difference. I'm pretty sure all of the compliments were due to my more supportive bra which makes clearer the line where my boobs stop and my stomach begins. At any rate, I'm still working on it! At last check I was *gulp* 282 pounds. Ouch. I'm pretty sure that I could still smoosh a small child, so I try not to sit on mine!